I don't want to jinx this ... but it's now three days post chemo infusion and though I am a bit weak and woozy ... I am able to: put one foot in front of the other without falling down; eat small portions of food without getting queasy, sit in my backyard and watch my animals frolic, and most of the time speak in full sentences and actually make sense. Ah ... the simple things that we all take so forgranted. It sounds so trite, but I will forever more see life through a much different and, hopefully, more enlightened filter.
I was too jittery and fog-brained to do any writing yesterday or wednesday. Today is somewhat better, though my hands are still shaking.
I promised a definition of "chemo-brain" and here's one of the best I could find - from the Mayo Clinic:
Signs and symptoms of chemo brain may include:
- Being unusually disorganized
- Confusion
- Difficulty concentrating
- Difficulty finding the right word
- Difficulty learning new skills
- Difficulty multitasking
- Fatigue
- Feeling of mental fogginess
- Short attention span
- Short-term memory problems
- Taking longer than usual to complete routine tasks
- Trouble with verbal memory, such as remembering a conversation
- Trouble with visual memory, such as recalling an image or list of words
TWO YEARS! Lord help me and anyone around me if it takes two years to de-fog. :-)
So, dear friends, be patient with me. Under the healthiest and best of circumstances I realize that I often exhibit "chemo-brain" tendencies (who knew?!) ... now it's a magnitude of ... well if I could think of the word I'd tell you. :-)
One thing I do remember and will always remember is the love and support and comfort I continue to receive from all of you, my darling friends and family. I am extremely grateful.
